“Aussie, this package is addressed to you!”

“Finally! I was waiting for it for days.”

“Aussie, I only order from Amazon when I can’t find certain things locally. What’s in the package?”

“You know how you always say that life is a package deal?”

“That’s right, Auss. Life gives you everything, things you like and things you don’t like.”

“And you know how you say that every person is a package deal, and that when you live with them you accept the whole package? Like I do with you?”

“Good for you for remembering, Aussie. When you’re in a close relationship with someone, there are things you like and things you like less, but he or she is a package deal. So, what’s in the package?”

“God.”

“God?”

“I wanted to see if God is also a package deal.”

“Good God, Auss!”

“Could be Bad God, don’t forget.”

“So, you looked for God in Amazon and what did you find?”

“I found Scripture Kitchen Towels, Goodness of God Hand Tea Towels, and Faith Dish Towels.”

“Is that what you have in the package?”

“Am I a fool? Does anyone cook in this house? Lots of bracelets. I liked the one that said With God All Things Are Possible, especially for when I’m hunting squirrels, but I didn’t find a size that fit my paw. I almost got you a present from God.”

“What, Auss?”

“Cappuccino Coffee called Presence of God.”

“That’s not bad, Auss.”

“And you know how you lose your car keys all the time? I considered getting you a keychain that says Make Heaven Crowded, but I wondered if that would encourage you to drive under the influence and kill people.”

“Do you want to go to heaven, Aussie?”

“Depends on the food. I looked for food under God, and there were treats in a box that said Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow.”

“You ordered the treats?”

“’Course not. They were vegan.”

“Aussie, they’re commercializing God, don’t you see that? You can’t put God in a package.”

“But you said that God is a package deal.”

“Not like that. And you used my credit card, didn’t you?”

“To err is human, to forgive canine.”

“Divine, Auss, divine.  And why would you bother looking for God in Amazon to begin with?”

“Where else do you get packages from?”