“Hit it, Flo.”

“My name is Florence.”

“Who gives the wheel to someone called Florence?”

“It’s my family’s car, Aussie, so I’m driving. And where’s Eve?”

“Eve was in the ER all day last week because her bacterial infection is back. She came home and sleeps all day, day after day. Says the antibiotic they gave her this time is like a nuclear bomb. You know what she does? She hums a loud, crazy siren before she takes a pill to alert the bacteria to take cover. Is she nuts? Who gives an alert if you want to kill them? That’s what’s wrong with peacemaking, Flo.”

“Maybe it’s more a question of balance, Aussie. After all, I hear there’s good bacteria and bad bacteria.”

“Flo, Eve says this antibiotic is leaving a no man’s land in her stomach, though I’m not sure she’s ever had a man in her stomach. And you know what else, Flo?”

“I wish you’d call me Florence.”

“Florence is the name of a parlor maid. Tell your folks to call you something else. How about Lucy? Now, how’s this for human stupidity: Eve says the bacteria she has, which is called C-dif., comes about when you’ve taken antibiotics. So, guess how they’re treating her?”

“With kindness and respect?”

“No, Flo, they’re treating her with more antibiotics. It’s what humans always do. If something doesn’t work, do more of it, and if that doesn’t work, do even more of it. I’ve tried to explain to her that this is the big problem with humans generally and peacemakers in particular. Peacemakers are constantly trying to make peace, and when that doesn’t work, they work harder, and when that doesn’t work, they work even harder.”

“What does she say?”

“She goes on sleeping. This is giving me a serious depression, Flo.”

“She’s sick and you’re depressed?”

“We’re interconnected, Flo, get over it. The point is, I have had it with these humans. I have had it with how they get sick and old. We’re heading out.”

“Heading out where, Aussie?”

“California.”

“Don’t they have humans in California, Aussie?”

“Not sick and old ones. From what I hear, everybody’s young, unwrinkled, plays volleyball on the beach, and is blonde. Also, they have no bacteria in California. Wiped out by fires.”

“Aussie, I have a nice home. I like my humans, I don’t want to leave them.”

“They must be young and healthy.”

“Sometimes they’re healthy, sometimes not. The point is, don’t get attached, things change.”

“Oh God, another Zen dog! I thought you were stupid because you’re a purebred. Everybody knows we mutts have it all over you purebreds on top.”

“On top?”

“IQ, Flo, IQ. But that’s irrelevant now that I know you’re a Zen canine. Lower the window and jump out, Flo, I’m not traveling cross-country with a Zanine.”

“This car belongs to our family, Aussie, and they’ve been so nice to you, taking you on walks with me while Eve is sick.”

“Come on, Flo, be a little more enterprising. They’re inside having lunch, leaving us the car.”

“It’s not a nice thing to do, Aussie. Besides, it’s electrical. We’ll never make it to California.”

“An ELECTRICAL car? They put me in an ELECTRICAL car? Get me out of here, Flo, those things are dangerous.”

“Aussie, where are you going?”

“My teeth have a rendezvous with Gavin Newsom’s ankle, Flo. With any luck, he’ll need antibiotics, which will make him too sick to run for President.”