“Aussie, how do you like the Cape?”

“I hate it.”

“What’s there to hate here?”

“The beaches. They’re telling me not to get into the water because of sharks!”

“Relax, Auss. You don’t go far enough to be in any danger.”

“This is a war zone, I tell you. Seals, sharks, and of course, Henry. Not to mention the bunnies.”

“Aussie, I wish you wouldn’t go after them. They’re practically tame here, unafraid of anything.”

“It’s time I bring fear into their lives. Cape Cod is overrun by bunnies. I‘m doing everyone a big favor by getting rid of some. They’re probably carrying lots of germs and diseases.”

“I wish you’d relax, Aussie. This is your vacation as much as mine. You don’t have to be vigilant against bears, you don’t have to guard the house—”

“Then what good am I?”

“Aussie, you’re good without doing anything at all. You have a right to what you need: water, shelter, food—”

“You call that food?”

“—without being good or bad or anything. Just because you are.”

“No, no, no. I can’t do vacation. What will the world do without me?”

“So far, it’s doing okay, Auss.”

“No, it’s not. Donald Trump was indicted today for the silliest of reasons.”

“Like having documents about our nuclear capabilities spread out in his home?”

“They would have never found any of it if I’d been there. He needed a real guard dog like me. Instead, he probably had some dumb, curly-headed, lame-brained purebred patrolling Mar-A-Lago. A French version of Henry.”

“Aussie, I don’t know what any of this has to do with our being on the Cape.”

“Donald Trump wouldn’t have been indicted if I hadn’t been on vacation. Back home I never shut my eyes, defended him to the world, and the minute you take me to Cape Cod he gets into trouble. You planned it this way, didn’t you?”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, Aussie. We made these vacation arrangements several weeks ago.”

“Are you telling me that it’s only a coincidence that all this happened on our first day here? Ha! Stupid I’m not.”

“Ahhh, more conspiracy theories.”

“Why do you think I work so hard chasing bunnies? Because I’m practicing. Today it’s bunnies, tomorrow, Jack Smith, just watch. Can’t wait till I get my teeth into him. Speaking of which, how do you trust anyone called Jack Smith?”

“Are you saying that’s not his real name, Auss?”

“It’s a spy name for sure. I smell North Korea.”

“Aussie, we’re here on vacation. Listen to all the birds, look at the boats in the marina, walk to the bay, eat good food.”

“I want to go home. I have work to do. I AM NEEDED!”

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