“Aussie, why are you hiding out in the back of the car again?”
“I’m scared.”
“Aussie, please come out of there, there’s no thunder.”
“Who says?”
“The weather bureau, Auss. Chance of rain for the next several hours: zero.”
“What do they know? I can hear it!”
“Well, I won’t knock personal experience.”
“Damn right. You always tell me that personal experience is all there is. I have to wake up on my own, you can’t do it for me.”
“I don’t tell you that, Aussie, you’re a dog!”
“You won’t feed me till after I wake up! You’re a Zenoid, and Zenoids always say: Don’t read about it, don’t talk about it, you must experience it!”
“First of all, Aussie, Zenoid sounds like a growth in your nose or tonsils. And while it’s true that I value personal experience, there’s nothing true about it. Know what I mean?”
“No.”
“It always depends where you stand, Aussie.”
“I’m not standing, I’m crouching.”
“Right now you’re crouching and hiding on the back seat of the car because something outside is scaring you, that’s your personal experience, Aussie. Henry, on the other hand, is lying outside, enjoying the heat; whatever’s coming doesn’t seem to worry him. That’s his personal experience.”
“I told you he was stupid.”
“No, Aussie, he has a different take on life than you. And it’s equally true and equally ridiculous.”
“How could anything be both true and ridiculous?”
“Our lives are true and ridiculous, Aussie. Exquisite on one hand, and silly on another. We can’t see beyond certain walls, know what I mean?”
“No.”
“So we make up stories, which is fine, but none of these stories are true, or they’re as true as every other story, see what I mean?”
“No.”
“This morning we had a class on Zoom, Auss, and a long-time teacher, trying to show the shift that happens due to meditation practice, took off his glasses. Taking off our glasses is like letting go of some of those beautiful stories about our life, see?”
“He probably fell right away. So you know how you like to brush me every day?”
“Of course. You have two coats of fur, Aussie, and a lot of fur comes out every time I brush you.”
“And do you remember what you say whenever you brush me? You say: ‘Come on, Aussie, let me make you more comfortable.’ And you remember what I do?”
“Squirm out of my hands and rush for the dog door?”
“Correcto. And that should tell you that I don’t want to be more comfortable, I don’t want to be brushed. But do you listen?”
“Aussie, your fur gleams after the brushing.”
“I don’t care! I hate being brushed! It doesn’t make me more comfortable! Everytime you take that brush out I want to run away from home!”
“We have two different stories about brushing you, just like we have two different stories about whether a storm is coming or not. So what’s to be done, Aussie?”
“Take off your glasses. Your story about brushing me is stupid, put it away.”
“And what about your story that a storm is coming even though the sky is blue?”
“I’m a dog, I don’t wear no glasses. Staying right here where it’s safe.”
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