THAT DOG DON’T PLAY!

“Harry, you’re making way too much noise in this house, go away.”

“Harry the Cur to you, Awesome. Back down South they sometimes called me Harry the Goon, but I prefer Harry the Cur, that’s my moniker.”

“What’s a moniker?”

“And I demand my payoff.”

“Payoff for what?”

“For all the protection I give you and the demoiselle in the kitchen. I sure hope she’s getting my dinner ready.”

“What protection?”

“Awesome, talk truth here: Who defended this home and its two defenseless females from the one-eyed monster early this morning?”

“What one-eyed monster?”

“The one with yellow flashing eye that came roaring down here before dawn, crunching up the road. Who defended you from a fate worse than death?”

“That, Harry—“

“The name’s Harry the Cur—“

“Was the snow plow. It eats up snow, Harry, not us.”

“It didn’t swallow you up because I packed up some heat there.”

“You stood on the bed and made a lot of noise!“

“I gave you protection, Awesome. I risked my life!”

“So what do you want back, Cur?”

“Three things, Awesome. Obedience, obedience, and obedience.”

“That’s only one thing, Cur. Repeating something three times doesn’t make it three things, it’s still just one thing.”

“Are you challenging my religion? Don’t get too philosophical with me, Awesome, I can’t stand philosophers!”

 

Later that evening Aussie comes for a little talk in the kitchen.

“OK, you can bring him back now. I’ve had my fun.”

“Who, Aussie?”

“Who do you think?”

“I’m sorry, Aussie, but I can’t bring Harry back.”

“What’s the problem? Put him in a box and send him back to Mississippi. Or let’s trade him in for someone else. I’d like someone a little smaller this time around.”

“Can’t do that, Auss. We’ll have to put up with Harry as best we can. I got him as a playmate for you.”

“That dog don’t play! That dog just tries to boss me around. Anyway, I’ve decided I want to be an only dog.”

“Too late, Aussie, we’re keeping Harry.”

“This peacemaker home will become the headquarters for Organized Crime! How long do we keep him for?”

“Forever.”

“How about you get rid of him next week?”