THAT WAS BERNIE

Photo by Kathy Solomon

“So girlfriend, how’s Bernie’s memorial coming?”

“Stop calling me girlfriend!”

“I’m The Entire Kit & Caboodle, I can call you anything. Every word is at my command.”

“I can call you anything, too, and I will very soon.”

“Every name you call me will be my true name, girlfriend.”

“We scheduled Bernie’s memorial to take place in Greyston, in Yonkers, on February 17.”

“It’s going to be lots of fun!”

“I wish you wouldn’t say that, Kit & Caboodle, it makes me sad.”

“Why?”

“Because I used to ask Bernie what he wanted in case he died, and he said: ‘I want to do what my sister, Bea, did when she died. She invited her family and friends to a party in which she could say goodbye, and then she died. So that’s what I want, a party.”

“So why are you sad?”

“Because he died so fast he never had his party.”

“Sure he had his party.”

“No he didn’t, Kit & Caboodle.”

“The Zen Center of Los Angeles had a Love Bernie Day, with a service and a big party. They even had action cards where people could write something they were going to do to make life better for the world.”

“But Bernie’s dead.”

“He was there.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just look at the photo.”

“That’s Mark Bloodgood, Kit & Caboodle., standing with Roshi Egyoku, abbot of the Zen Center. Don’t you know anything?”

“I’m a know-nothing, girlfriend.”

“That’s Mark Bloodgood dressed like Bernie, with the eyebrows and everything. I even sent him a few of Bernie’s clothes for the occasion.”

“No no no, girlfriend, that’s Bernie.”

“Mark.”

“Bernie.”

“Mark.”

“You, girlfriend,  are the silliest, most stubborn person I know. Take my word for it, that was Bernie.”