NOT THE WAY TO LEEANN

I don’t know, this isn’t the way to Leeann. Everything else feels the same. I’m sitting in the back seat of the car and it’s morning, but this doesn’t feel right. So either you forgot how to go to Leeann or you’re going the very long way.

Actually, you’re right, Stan. We’re not going to Leeann, we’re going to Dr. Brown.

Oh no! The House of Horrors!

Look Stanley, you have allergies in the winter, you’re scratching hard, you’re not sleeping!

So?

I want you to get a good night’s sleep, Stanley, not walk around the house like a zombie all night scratching.

You mean you want to get a good night’s sleep. I’ll live with being a zombie.

And your back legs are getting weaker.

They’re my back legs.

You’re eating less, Stanley. You always had such a good appetite, and now I have to cajole you into eating breakfast.

So I’ll lose some weight. Could we turn around now and go home?

Come on, Stan, you think it’s easy for me to take you to the House of—Dr. Brown? As soon as she enters the exam room you turn to the corner, showing her your butt. She calls your name, Stanley! Stanley!, and you don’t even turn around. How do you think that makes me feel?

You know, there’s something you should know that you don’t want to know.

What’s that, Stanley?

I’m old! I’m slow! I do my best to catch up with the rest of Leeann’s gang, but it’s getting harder and harder because I’m old and sometimes I hurt. I’m aging, I’m falling apart. So what?

What do you mean, so what? It’s tough seeing you in pain, it’s tough seeing you limp sometimes or else walk around during the night not sleeping. It’s tough seeing you lose your appetite.

I’m going.

Going where?

You know where. It’s slow going, but I’m still going. So what? Do you see me getting upset?

You know, Stanley, instead of taking you to Dr. Brown so early in the morning I could have gone to my yoga class!

Next time do the yoga class! And start letting me go.

Go where?

You know where. It’s time.

Now?

Not now. Soon.