AT THE DINNER TABLE

Guess where you’re going tomorrow morning, Stanley? You’re going to Leeann.

Leeann? OMG, I thought she was dead.

She’s not dead, Stanley, she’s been on vacation and now she’s back. You’ll see her tomorrow along with your other friends and go on outings together.

Kaia will boss me around, as usual.

You love it, Stan. You get so excited when we make the turn to her house.

What’s vacation?

Vacation, Stanley, is when people let themselves have a good rest.

Don’t you do that when you’re dead?

Yes, but when you’re on vacation you can be a little more active, Stanley. You do only the things you want to do, not the things you’re obliged to do.

So let me get this straight. Are you saying that when Leeann takes us out for an outing she doesn’t really feel like doing that?

She loves taking you out, but she has a responsibility. She has to make sure you dogs stay together and don’t get lost or hurt, especially you, Stanley, because you can’t hear anything and your sight is bad.

Why are you always talking to yourself? asks Bernie.

An old habit of mine from childhood. Tried to give it up, but can’t.

Sit a little more, suggests Bernie, and puts down his knife and fork. This was a good dinner, but I’m done.

That all you’re eating? It’s terrific fish, Bernie! Halibut in Italian sauce.

I have to leave some for Stanley.

Bernie, Stanley doesn’t need any more food.

A growl from the rug below. Who says?

I like to leave food for him, says Bernie.

You know, Bernie, before your stroke you never worried about leaving food for Stanley. In fact, I’m not sure you were much of a dog lover.

See what a stroke can do, Bernie says.

He became a real mensch after his stroke, says Stan.

What do you know about being a mensch? You’re a dog! Speaking of which, Stanley, would you stop taking out the used teeth floss from the trash can in the bathroom?

It’s full of food. You’re throwing away food!

Not to mention the used Q-tips you leave on the floor, Stanley, and the used tampax that guests throw in the trash and you take out to the lawn. It embarrasses them

I love body fluids!

You’re insane, Stanley. You’re old, you’re senile, and soon you’ll be dead.

You mean I’ll go on vacation?

 

 

And speaking of vacation, I’m taking one myself, going away for the weekend, leaving you two guys here along with Genro. I need a good rest.

 

So yu’re going to die?